i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
