It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
