they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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