At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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