I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
