please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
