I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
