doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
