your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
