Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
