ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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