She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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