I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
