So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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