So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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