whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im holly from the hills drunk
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
