i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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