Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
