Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
