Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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