Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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