i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
