their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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