he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
