i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
