did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
