when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
