Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
