Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
