so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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