worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
