Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
