Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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