yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
