hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
