ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
