maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
