ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
