almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
