it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
