would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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