no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
