But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
