It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
