Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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