Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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