addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
