Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
