I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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