So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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