margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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