Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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