then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
