??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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