last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
