whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
