So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
