he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
