you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
