do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
