Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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